TOUGH READ - I WARNED YOU

I've been bad. I haven't written in ages. So here's one to make up for it...

I went to the girl doctor the other day. I'm sharing too much information...it only gets worse, I promise. I haven't been the most dedicated gynecological patient. I went to my first appointment when I was 23. I went again when I was 25. Then I just stopped going until last year. I'm a wuss, what can I say?

So last year I went again - to a different doctor of course. (I have this totally neurotic thing where if I don't do what my doctor asks I so badly don't want to disappoint them that I just never go back. Like it matters so much to them. Why am I so crazy???) Anywho...I went to a new doctor that I liked very much. She was friendly and easy going and fast. Which is a really great thing when your feet are in stirups and your ass is hanging off the edge of the table. Unfortunately she moved to California so when I went to schedule my exam this year (like a very good patient) I had to go to a different doctor.

This new doctor was fine too. A little more abrasive then last year's (I'm referring to personality, not texture), but fine. Though she surprised me with a little extra action than I'd ever had before. Have you seen that episode of Friends - the one with Joey's tailor? Where Chandler goes to Joey's tailor and the guy cups his junk? That's kind of how I felt when I got my first mini-rectal exam. Yea, I said it. An unexpected butt poke in the early afternoon. She warned me, but I still felt a little bit like, "hey, none of my other doctor's have done that...is this kosh-oh!!" And then it was done.

So thanks, I guess, to my new doctor for being so thorough. I suppose it's good to know my ovaries aren't hiding out behind my uterus.

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