I spend a lot of time at work, and a decent amount of time working from home. And for years, until a few days ago, most of my remaining time at home has been spent in some form of intoxication. A little like I needed to be numb. All the time.
There have been many changes over the past few months: I was diagnosed with high cholesterol, my husband quit his job, I was diagnosed with mild cervical discogenic degenerative disease (quite literally, a pain in the neck), my father-in-law lost his job, my mother found a lump (not cancer, thank heavens), I've been given more responsibility at work including managing our out of town events, some good friends had to close their business, and I am interviewing with the company manager of the HAIR tour with the hope of joining her on said tour when it goes out in the fall.
These changes have brought a few things into sharp focus.
For one, I am so lucky that I love what I do. Not that everything at work is always sunny and perfect, but I love the people I work with, the show I work on, the tasks I am asked to complete. I am very lucky.
Second, my family is incredibly special. I think ALL families are special, but I belong to the one I belong to, and I am happy and honored and totally in love with all of them.
Third, my husband is an amazing and complicated being who is so full of love and brilliance. He is growing at a rate that I didn't realize was possible for him, and is a continued testament to why he needed to leave his job. He has mentioned more than once his appreciation of my support for his quitting. I keep telling him that it was the best thing he's done for himself, and for us, in years. And it's so true - the job was stunting his growth as a compassionate human being and it's so beautiful to see him back on track.
Finally, and most significantly to this particular blog entry, I need to be clear headed. The damage done by dulling the world is far reaching. It interferes with my intellectual growth, with my spiritual growth, with my career growth, among many other things. Three days off and I feel like a new person. Not a different person, which is SO important to point out, but a new shined up version of who I've always been.
I'm excited to continue in my life journey with clear focus and pure joy for everything that is to come. I've always loved life, but now - like I did in high school - I can embrace it with every single bit of myself and let the opportunities knock once again.
