Sweet Potato

I had a perfectly cooked sweet potato last night for dinner.

It was lovely, though I look forward to having another one next week with butter.

Day 17

Last night I cheated fully for the first time. Geoff and I ate at a wonderful restaurant called Extra Virgin in the West Village. I ordered the Grilled Salmon over truffled mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus. It was an amazing experience to eat this wonderfully seasoned plate of good food after 16 days of no salt.

It honestly was one of the best "cleanse" options at the restaurant - outside of the salt and likely some butter in the potatoes everything else was a-ok.

So I feel a little guilty, but I also keep having flavor flashbacks of pure joy for my mouth. The meal was definitely worth the slip, and I'm back on track for the last few days - full speed ahead!

Day 16

Working through the boredom is a challenge. Eating out is a challenge. Snacktime is a challenge. Exercising daily is a challenge. Drinking ground flax is a challenge.

Feeling awake without caffeine or sugar is a blessing. Super soft skin is a blessing. Dropping extra pounds is a blessing. Having abundant energy is a blessing. Remembering the will power and strength that I have inside me is a blessing.

Day 15

The start of the final week. I will commit whole heartedly to these 7 days of detox. i will hope that the final bits of crud get cleansed out in these next 7 days. And I will hold onto the knowledge that after these 7 days are over I can celebrate my victory by casting my vote for Barack Obama, and watch him celebrate his victory, and the victory of a new America.

Day 14

Today marks the end of week two. One more week to go, and I am absolutely looking forward to the end. I do think it's good - I am SO glad I've taken on this challenge, but I am also SO glad that I only have a week left. The hardest part right now is variety - I've had a lot of rice cakes with almond butter in the past two weeks. And a lot of fish. But I've also learned that mashed potatoes can be absolutely delicious without any butter or milk or salt - olive oil, garlic and a tiny bit of vegetable broth make a delicious substitute.

I've also been reminded of how amazingly supportive and caring friends and family can be. Numerous pals have offered advice or support throughout this detox - one friend even went so far as to make me an entire homecooked meal! It feels great to be loved so largely. I only hope I can spread as much love around as that which is heaped on me.

Here's to detox!

Craving

Right now I really want a cheeseburger from Shades of Green.

Day 11

Halfway through the 21 days I've committed myself to complete. I'm feeling good about my progress, and good about my health.

I saw three lovely friends last night - Anika, Rachel and Chris. Your faces bring me very much joy and I certainly hope to see them more often!

Reasons to Keep It Up

Soft skin, bright eyes, smaller waistline.

Day 8

I have gone an entire week without any sugar, caffeine or alcohol. I did have the smallest amount of salt when I ordered edamame at a sushi restaurant.

I am amazed at how good I feel. And I think I might look better too. My skin is extra soft and I've lost four and a half pounds.

Only two more weeks to go...!

A Brighter Day Will Come

Obama '08 - Vote For Hope from MC Yogi on Vimeo.

Day 7

It's starting to make sense. I think about how happy I will be to have a buffalo chicken wrap again from Lennys and suddenly I have no appetite for that buffalo chicken wrap. It sounds kind of yucky. A blackened tuna over organic mixed greens salad...now that sounds delish.

So that's good I think. Redirecting my cravings away from yucky and toward good for me...yea, that's definitely good.

Day 4

Wow. It's Day 4!

Feeling better today - still a little on edge, but better.

I think this cleanse is changing the way my pee smells. Is that possible?

Day 3

Today I feel sad. I am proud that I have made it to Day 3 of the Detox, but I think maybe all the bad stuff is starting to make its way out of my body and maybe that's why I feel sad.

At this moment I am questioning my job. Is it this really what I'm doing with my life? There is nothing wrong with doing what I'm doing - working in a producing and management office of this caliber is a pretty special thing. Many people would give their right arm for this chance. But it's not about this office - this office is great. It's about the rest of my life. And the fact that I don't know if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm surrounded by these incredibly passionate people, who seem so clearly to be meant to do what they are doing. I feel like I am floating in the middle. I feel like I am very good at getting things done and that is why I am kept around. I feel like my spirit is wilting a little, like I want to be recognized for what I do and given the opportunity to do more. But I have a tendency to want to move quickly, and this place does not let you do that - can't let you do that. I have never been very patient...

Aargh...so much more to think out, but for now I need to get back to being the house seat girl.

Headache

Now I have a headache. That is probably from not having any caffiene in over 60 hours. It's amazing how much our body gets used to having all these bad things.

Lightness

I feel a sudden internal lightness. It's like there is space between my bones and skin, empty space. Maybe the toxins have started to leave my body?

Or maybe I'm just hungry...

Detox

I'm hungry.

But I feel good outside of that.

Detox

I will begin a Detox Diet tomorrow.

I am following a plan given to me by my pal Rachel, and slightly modified by some of my own research.

I will try very hard to document the effects of the detox.

To start, why am I doing this? Why am I so drawn to this cleanse right now?

I feel sluggish, and heavy in the middle. I don't feel like my body has been getting what it needs from the food I eat and the movement I do. I feel more tired and lethargic than I am used to feeling. I think that, after 31 years and two months of build up, it's time to flush some toxins from my system. It's been hard to motivate myself to do much of anything outside of television and work. I don't have my old drive to get frisky. I've been spending too much time sitting on the couch just enjoying sweet treats and salty snacks. I've been smoking too much. I've been drinking too much. It feels like the past ten years of having too much fun are catching up with me.

Let's do it.

NC Wedding

Returned yesterday afternoon from a road trip to North Carolina. Spent only $120 on gas - half as much as I thought we'd spend. Took us 10 hours to get to the hotel and only 8.5 to get home. Though I'm feeling a little car-tired still, I can't believe how easy the whole thing turned out to be.

The "whys" that made this enjoyable: making the car ride part of the adventure - not just the method of transportation, travelling with wonderful people, having lots of different music in the car, celebrating the marriage of a great friend with a bunch of other great friends, good ol' Carolina BBQ, shrimp-n-grits, Gap Outlet, riding bikes around Nags Head, make-your-own waffles, a belly dancing convention, the enormous silver Jesus, salt spray on your skin, America's Funniest Videos' "surprised montage," a true jam session, jack & cokes, Cheerwine, touching places fingers can't feel, the Elizabethan Gardens, sand combining ceremony, a very happy couple.

I feel like I am always apologizing even when I am not in the wrong. I am tired of feeling bad about things over which I have no control.

Uh Oh

Today will be a day. I can feel it already. The office will be rocky and people will be grumpy and my job will be to stay calm and console the wounded.

Because today will be day of viciousness.

Though maybe, hopefully, I am wrong.

With Time

Maybe with enough time we can all learn to love each other. Maybe with enough time we can all learn tolerance. Maybe with enough time we can all learn to be quiet and still. Maybe with enough time we can all learn to see every being as a part of ourselves.

Maybe with enough time we can all learn that we have so much left to learn.

And so little time.

Is it enough?

Dentist

Dentists are not evil people. They do not want to pull out each and every one of my teeth for their amusement. They really intend to be gentle when they are scraping at my gumline.

I will talk myself into it. I will relax in the chair. I will not bite the hand that touches my teeth.

I'm Back!

The show is open. I can crawl out from my little hole and greet the day with words again. Not just mumbles of seat locations and tissue paper choices and quotes for the card and security thoughts and have we pleased everyone concerns. Those are all great and grand and glorious things, but boy do they overwhelm a life.

So today I'm back to the writing. And, after two days of no hot water, I'm also back to the taking a hot shower thing. Woo-hoo!!